Our True Nature

The first part of what I mean by our true nature is the part of ourselves that is unchanging which exists beneath all the layers of the ego. Beneath our programming, and our mental-emotional blockages and distortion. At the deepest level our true nature is spirit, which I also consider as pure awareness or consciousness. However, the other aspect of our true nature lies in the expression of ourselves in our daily lives, and refers to the state and process of an individual being who they are and honestly expressing themselves in what they do.

The awareness of our true nature and its expression are the two aspects of the work and discipline this process entails. Your nature as spirit-consciousness is the part of you that you come to experience and embody, most effectively achieved through practices such as meditation and yoga. From this stage follows the equally important process of actualizing that awareness in how you are, in the quality and substance of your life, and in what you do. The yin and yang of your true nature, if I may.

Our true nature is realized gradually, and we are never through discovering it. At each and every stage, we are completely ignorant of the experience of ourselves and spirit that we will discover and embody next, the next time we change and grow, and thereby raise our level of awareness. I can say with certainty from my own experience that while I had a definite set of goals or ideals that I was working towards on my own path, which were in the process of being revealed within me through my work, training, discipline, and growth, I didn’t understand them until they exploded through me into my life spontaneously and unpredictably, in a form I had not anticipated or expected.

Ironic considering that in every case I had been working towards these things for years, in some ways for my whole life. Yet when they arrived in my life and through me in my work, I was completely surprised by their appearance and their form. We cannot know something until we experience it. This is the fundamental truth of our true nature as well, for we cannot know it until we have experienced it, and we are never through with this process of revelation. When we do experience and realize a deeper part of who we are, and come to experience another level of our true nature as spirit, the deep impression that we are left with every time is that it was but a fraction of what we truly are.

Describing Our True Nature In Action

“Music sweet music
I wish I could caress… caress… kiss.”
– Jimi Hendrix

Our true nature is an experience and a process. It is not something that we can arrive at and so come to possess or own. That is not how it works. In the same way, a musician cannot own the music that comes through them when they are alone and just creating. It is not the skill to play a song that is important, but the emotion behind it, which sometimes just isn’t there for that specific song, thus the rendition will be devoid of substance and thus not true. Or the emotion is there, but for a song or idea other than what you were trying to play.

You can play a song a thousand times, and yet sometimes it seems to slip between your fingers and the rhythm and words are just not attainable in those moments. For me at least, music is a force on its own. It comes through you inspired and with a specific quality of emotion, which cannot be forced because then it is devoid of the magic which ultimately defines music.

Just like I do not own these words. I cannot bundle them together and define myself with them, as if they were a cloak. We cannot possess these things, these creations of music, art, literature, even and especially ideas and knowledge. They are all so real, so definite, and yet at the same time amorphous and intangible. This is what Jimi was saying in the quote above. He loved music with every fiber of who he was, yet to the same degree that he embodied music, even was music, he could never possess it, capture it and hold it in his arms. Our true nature is the same.

Our true nature is experienced only as an awareness, found in the beauty, joy, and refined pleasure inherent in the flow of being what we are. In one sense it is who we are, perhaps the ultimate expression of who we are. Yet it can also be just as fluid and undefinable as any form of art. As we refine our habits, our spiritual practice, knowledge, and our skills in our arts so that we are more clearly able to express ourselves and embody the fullness of our being in all our daily actions, that is when we begin to realize our true nature.

It is not something we can intellectualize, regardless of how well we believe we can classify and qualify ourselves as this or that, because it is not found in those ideas. I can say that “I am a scientist, an historian, a musician, a yogi, and a mystic”, but what do those words really say about me? All they reveal is that “I study the mathematics and the patterns found physical reality, that I probe the mists of history, myth and legend, seeking to tease out some truth that may be distorted by time or sheer misunderstanding, that I practice yoga, and occasionally experience things that cannot be described with words.”

But what is actually being conveyed by those words!? On the one hand they are so accurate, yet on the other they are devoid of any meaning. They describe to you extremely well some of what I do and spend my time doing. Yet they speak nothing of the quality or intensity of the emotion, exhilaration, and sense of intellectual, emotional, and spiritual discovery inherent with the experiences. Which is the entire essence of the meaning within them. They cannot even come close to who I am and the perception of who I am in the midst of those experiences. There are few who can see that deep into myself, or into another person for that matter, period. Unless you also do some of the same things, and have a similar level of experience in the art or discipline, then maybe you might glean a few degrees more understanding than most.

These words we use to describe ourselves, and even the words we use to describe what we do, are in some ways insignificant. We are not to be found within them. All the titles and accolades in the world cannot define a person or lead a person to the discovery of who they are, their true nature. We can only find ourselves in the pure flow of being who we are through actions that are perfectly aligned with who we are. And it is this which is the greatest struggle of the process of growth, personal development, mastery, and the whole point of life.

Honestly Expressing Ourselves

The experience of our True Nature is embodied in a natural, high-level flow, of expressing who we truly are. This occurs when we are emotionally balanced, passionately engaged in the work we do each day, inspired and on purpose. Yet this flow ultimately also means that we have well-established patterns of habit and behavior which liberate our true nature, as opposed to occluding and distorting it. When we have found the arts, the practices, the projects, the subjects or disciplines, and in general the way of life which resonates with the totality of who we are and engages deeply every fiber of our being, that is purpose. That is where our true nature is found.

This discovery of purpose in our life goes hand in hand with the process of finding how to express ourselves, along with acquiring the skills and knowledge in various arts which enable us to do so. It is this process which spans years of effort, over which we learn to channel all of our energy, all that we are, into these actions of our day. And over time our purpose begins to emerge and take form in a perfect balance of these elements which together satisfy our natural self-expression, our true nature. Not the other way around. We can have an intuition of who we are and what our purpose is long before we actualize it. But it is only by infusing ourselves into those arts, or infusing these arts into ourselves, that our true nature can be fully realized through its expression.

For example, I cannot choose to study physics instead of history, or only the art of writing instead of music. Nor can I choose to study mathematics instead of languages, practice martial arts instead of yoga, or never swim in the ocean again choosing instead to ‘specialize’ in hiking in the mountains. I cannot choose one way or the other, because I don’t have a choice in the matter. I have to do each one of these things, because to not engage in them all would be like removing my leg, for they are such fundamental expressions of who I am that I cannot live holistically or feel fulfilled and satisfied fundamentally if I where to cut one of them out.

I have tried for years., every combination and balance of practices that I could think of. I simply cannot do it, for they are as natural to me as breathing. And the pain and suffering I went through before I realized this, and before I developed the skills, knowledge, and process with which I could effortlessly and naturally include each of these things into my day and life organically, was truly incredible. For maybe 18 years of my life I suffered through that. Yet I do not regret a moment because I also chose this path consciously, before, and at each stage along the way I have chosen this path because this is the path of self-realization, of fulfilling my destiny and highest potential. It is the only path with heart, the only one that means anything to me, and I will die before I stray from it. Nothing else but total liberation for myself, and hopefully for as many people as I can manage (although I admit no control whatsoever in the matter, but maybe some indirect influence) will satisfy me in this life.

Realizing our true nature is not a state of unchanging perfection, but a consistent process of becoming unhindered and moving towards total liberation. We don’t realize our true nature one day and all of the sudden are perfect in every respect, all challenge and difficulty disintegrating. That is not what realizing our true nature looks like. That is also my point of contention regarding the understanding of enlightenment.

It is not an event or a destination, but a continual process of discovery, creation, and refinement. And when you reach a stage where you seem to achieve something and are at peace, you carry that peace and that awareness with you into the next and greater challenge of your life. Not with weariness or exhaustion, because those are not symptoms of purpose and one’s true nature, but with a light within you.

Realizing your true nature is not about reaching a state where you don’t have to do anything for the rest of your life. Although perhaps you could say it is about reaching a state where you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do for the rest of your life. The day that I stop learning new things, seeking to refine my knowledge, seeking to deepen my spiritual connection and the level of my awareness, along with my capacity for completely selfless love and radiant bliss, and improve my skills in my arts so that I can express the beauty I perceive every day, that will be the day that I have left this body – which was but a temporary contract from its inception.

Your true nature is what you are as spirit. It is the process of discovering and liberating this awareness of yourself, and radiating it into the world and into all that you do, refining the limitations of your ego to better express this deeper realization of yourself. This is what defines the process of understanding your true nature, and embodying your true nature, entails.